Somewhere in the depths of Austin is one of best-kept secrets of all time.

Some say they bury it in a secure spot beneath Lady Bird Lake. Others say they keep it in a secure facility out toward Lake Travis.

Yet others believe it is kept under lock and key atop the

Tower at the University of Texas.

Is it the answer to who was the second gunman on the grassy knoll or what really happened in Roswell, N.M.?

How about the full-length video of the moon landing?

No, those answers are easier.

He doesn't exist; they are out there watching you and that never happened.

No, the greatest mystery in the world is how the University Interscholastic League determines district realignment for athletic teams in the state of Texas.

Quite simply, how the UIL aligns the districts and how quantum physics relates to evolutional theory are both about equally confusing.

Despite the ball of mess the UIL usually makes of things and its ability to keep things more concealed than the location of the lost city of Atlantis, there are a few things I am pretty sure about at this point. After the Herald canvassed the local coaches, we determined the numbers of students each school turned in for realignment purposes.

And there we found a few answers, even if there were not any links to figuring out where Elvis has been hiding all this time.

Although, we can rule out Lampasas, which only turned in 987 – almost 100 less students than it had two years ago, when it was one of the smallest 4A schools in the state.

Now, it almost assuredly will fall to 3A. On the flip side, Salado turned in 467 and it should move up to 3A.

And despite the range of 520 students, they could end up district rivals. The former 8-3A district could turn into Lampasas, Salado, Liberty Hill, Burnet, Llano and maybe even Fredericksburg.

Of course, knowing the UIL, Salado could also end up in the Bermuda Triangle.

More likely, though, they go to 3A Region IV and become part of District 25 or 26-3A.

Further, a couple of the smaller Austin schools (Reagan and Eastside Memorial) could end up replacing Llano or Fredericksburg, if they do not petition to move up to 4A, like they have in years past.

And that would alleviate some of the Eagles' travel concerns.

Regardless of travel, the move up in classifications is not good news for Jeff Cheatham.

Salado is going to go from one of the largest 2A schools to one of the smallest 3As, in a district loaded with large, traditional 3A powers like Burnet and Liberty Hill.

And if the Austin schools are in that district, every school will have at least 250 more students than the Eagles.

Meanwhile, with Lampasas falling to 3A, it also causes some more dominoes to fall. District 25-4A only had six teams for basketball and spring sports. Now whittled down to five teams, the district must get blown up and the pieces will be scattered all across the state, much like Jimmy Hoffa.

Lake Travis should move south to join Dripping Springs and Buda Hays in 17-4A, and I am sure a lot of people in Killeen will be happy to be rid of the Cavaliers, whose numbers somehow stay below the cutoff every year.

Lake Travis' ability to remain in 4A is even more perplexing than how former NBA commissioner David Stern froze the envelope of the New York Knicks in the 1985 NBA draft and handed the Knicks the No. 1 pick and eventually Patrick Ewing.

That aside, Hutto and Pflugerville Hendrickson should be joined by the new Leander schools, Rouse and Vandegrift, as well as the contingent from Pflugerville.

The Roos could join them or they could head north up to Waco once again. Travel-wise it is best for them to go south and remain in 25-4A with all the Leander/Cedar Park and Pflugerville schools.

But the wildcard here is Marble Falls.

If the UIL moves it south with Lake Travis, a spot in 25-4A will be available. If it keeps them north, Killeen will have to go north as well.

And, in terms of filling districts with at least six teams, a move north seems more likely. This way Corsicana, Ennis and the Waco teams have someone to play.

In the end, there are so many scenarios the UIL could unleash onto the world, I can't even explain them all.

But, I hope I haven't confused you too badly.

I have?

I figured as much. That's exactly the way the UIL wants it. After all, there is no man standing behind the curtain.

There is only, the great and powerful UIL.

Besides, those aliens, of course. Somewhere, they are rocking out with Jimi Hendrix, Elvis and Tupac.

Hmmmm … p erhaps, that is where the UIL has next year's realignment hidden.

Contact Nick Talbot at ntalbot@kdhnews.com or (254) 501-7569. Follow him on Twitter at KDHsports.

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